Having a good cry

My hubby is out of town for a few days so I thought I would take this opportunity to have a good cry--a good, guffawing, snot-slinging cry that comes from the bottom of my feet and works it way all the way up to my head and out my eyes, nose and every other escape route. Every once in a while, I need this to cleanse my system and my soul. And it's not often that I am afforded the opportunity of performing this ritual without worrying the kids or freaking out my husband.

Times are tough everywhere. I am trying to put on a brave face and have been doing an okay job, at least I think, but every once in a while I succumb to the need of having a good pity party with myself as the Guest of Honor. I have so many good things in my life to be thankful for--a wonderful husband, three great kids, my loving parents, a beautiful sister and her family, terrific friends--I am so appreciative, but sometimes I am overcome by great sadness.

Our country is in dire straits--good people have lost their jobs, their homes, their belongings, their faith, their lives--what is going to become of us? I am hopeful that our new President and his administration can turn our economy around, but it seems things are so far gone that that might not happen for a very long time. Unemployment is at an all-time high, the stock market and all-time low, morale is abysmal at best. I, like, countless other moms and dads, worry, worry, worry what the future holds for our country, our families, our children.

I am not an economist, nor a politician, nor a theologian, but I am somewhat intelligent and can read the writing on the wall and it is not a good story. I don't know if we need more government intervention or Divine intervention, but what I do know is that things have got to get better. What can I do to make a change, a difference?

I know some people are perpetual optimists and would argue that it is not all so bleak--that there are shiny moments in an otherwise gray existence--but that is not what tonight is all about for me.

I am so grateful to have found a church where I can go and pray and spend peaceful moments with my husband and kids--an escape, much like the tears I have shed this evening.

Tonight, I will cry. Tomorrow, I will hope.

Honest Scrap Award

Regina from My Life With Little Girls was kind enough to bestow this award upon me. From what I have read, this award is given to bloggers who write from the heart.

The rules are as follows:

a) List 10 honest things about yourself.

b) Pass the award on to seven bloggers whom you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

Here is my list of things (a.k.a. neuroses) in no particular order:

1. I cry at least once a day, whether I am happy, sad, angry or frustrated. I cry at commercials. I cry watching "A Baby Story." I cried during the Super Bowl, both during the "Star Spangled Banner," and then at the end of the game. There is nothing I can do about this--I am convinced it is hereditary.

2. I used to be painfully shy. I could not walk into a room without being totally self-conscious. Speaking to someone out of my small, inner circle of friends just did not occur without a lot of stuttering or blushing.

3. I decided to go to school at Arizona State University, way across the country where I knew not a single soul, to get over aforementioned shyness. It worked. My senior year, I was editor-in-chief of the campus daily newspaper and had made a lot of great friends (tho I still sometimes find myself feeling shy in certain social settings).

4. I secretly wish I was 30 again (tho I would still want to have my wonderful husband and three gorgeous kids). I just wish I still looked like I did and had the energy I did when I was 30.

5. I'm afraid to go to the dentist. I go, but not without a lot of anxiety. I'm always convinced my teeth are falling out. The dentist assures me they're not, but that I am brushing too hard. I don't even like it when they clean my teeth. The latex gloves make me gag. I'm gagging right now just thinking of it.

6. I don't like to play games--not card games, board games nor video games. I would much rather sit and have a conversation with someone or just sit quietly. If I go to a party where they are playing games, I'll sit on the sidelines and just chit-chat with everyone instead of playing.

7. I have a diaper bag fetish. I've been in search of the perfect diaper bag since I had Sophie almost seven years ago. It does not exist, although I came close with a bag I designed on 1154 Lill. My diaper bag days are nearly over and I am trying to come to terms with that fact.

8. I am an EXCELLENT dancer. I don't know how I acquired this skill, but people are always amazed when I start moving on the dance floor.

9. There are some kids at Sophie and Max's school that I don't like. If I hear of one of them being mean to my children, that's it. They're on my List. Some others make it just because they annoy me. Especially whiners. I know--I am horrible.

10. I have a foot fungus. I got it from sharing a shower with my husband. I keep treating it, but until he buys into the fact that he has the fungus (he insists it's dry skin), it will not go away.


Now for my seven Honest Scrappers: Amy from Mom Spark; my buddy, Dawn from D-Blogala; Angie from 5 Vinez Monkeys; Gina from A Wrestling Addicted Mommy; Kristle from Stir Crazy; Heather from A Daycare Life; and my girl Jen from Lost In Eden.