Thursday, October 23, 2008

Panty lines: The bane and bum of my existence

I just want to take a moment to thank all of the wonderful people that I came in contact with today that took the time to tell me that the belt from my long sweater was twisted inside my thong and that part of my left butt cheek was exposed.

First of all, some of you (especially my mom and sister) may be shocked to learn that I, a 41-year-old mother of three, wear a thong. I have struggled with panty lines my entire life--they are the bane of my very existence! I cannot stand the thought of having that line of demarcation spread across my fanny. Besides, wearing briefs or bikinis just exacerbates the appearance of flab above and below where the undergarments fit.

I do realize there are some benefits to wearing the briefs, the extra room allows me to tuck in the "built-in pencil pouch" I gained by having three Cesarean sections (I'm thinking of adding a zipper to this pouch to allow for extra storage). And I do wear briefs when I'm wearing athletic pants to cut down on the amount of jiggle. But with jeans or other five-pocket pants, I wear a thong. And, up until today, that was my business.

So, once again, thanks to the staff at my daughter's school who watched as I chased after Max and Carly, bending several times to catch Carly before she rang the bell on the admin desk for the umpteenth time, and to the teachers that had taken the children out to enjoy a brisk autumn day who greeted me, as usual, with a smile, but provided no information on the appearance of my nether-region. Thanks to the ladies at the bank. And a big fat thank you to my buddy at the Post Office, for it was right after I left your company, ass akimbo, that I discovered the error of my ways while getting back into the car.

I hope you all had a great day! And, next time I see you, I will hold my head high and my sweater low.

3 comments:

Regina Bertrand said...

LOL, oh my goodness. How embarrasing! I am sorry, I do not mean to laugh but I have been there!

These are the moments where you just have to shrug your shoulders and say,"oh well." It could have been worse.

Suzi Homemaker said...

Girl - stuff like this happens way too often to me for me to get embarrassed any more! I just laugh it off, but I do make a point to let others know if their unmentionables are showing or if they have something hanging from their nostril (euphemism for booger!).

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